I am a curious oddball.
I am an old soul.
I am more of a feeler than a thinker for most of my life.
Since I am a feeler I was once attached to all the stories from my past.
I took them all personally.
My mind was cluttered with why I cant’s, I was in a jail cell from all my fears.
I feel like everybody can do better than me, it was all in my mind!
I came from an era of pre-google download everything.
It was a hard search for asking one person to another about all my wonderments in life.
I started to gain self-confidence when I started to be promoted at work.
My drive was soaring high to keep on achieving and climb the ladder more.
It was a different sense of acknowledgment.
What More Can I Do?
From a career in a restaurant to a career in a luxury hotel.
Singapore was a country which I aspire to experience working, its one of the cleanest and the safest country in Asia.
Safest really rung the bell inside my head, a haven away from my home country.
That period of my life answered all my I cant’s which turned out to be I CAN!
My experiences taught me, that if I really want something then work for it.
Although I was thinking of quitting on my first day.
I Challenged Myself
I changed that and challenged myself.
From zero hotel background, I learned everything from scratch.
Coping up with all the French standards is out of my brain capacity! I never heard of such standards because I came from a completely different world.
My trainer was a perfectionist French.
Initially, all these things I thought were impossible for me to cope up.
I had to memorize all these terms, French/Italian, all the wines, and liquors.
Tongue twister, soft, medium, and hard cheese. Their smell can be very strong.
Checking all the glass are spotless, all in one straight line and the cutlery 1 inch from the edge.
Every day I have to repeat all this and handle all the local complaints.
Every day is a free roller coaster ride, I don’t have to go to Universal Studios.
I borrowed their faith and anchor to all their generous time and effort in teaching me.
Until one day, I build up all that same faith in me.
What Else Can I Do?
The more I exercise that possibility thinking inside my head, it gave me the courage to pursue on my other curiosities in life.
Doubts are still running a marathon inside my head. The loudest doubt wins the race.
But since I am a feeler, I always give it a chance to look further into it.
Even though doubts are still doing its thing inside my head.
I got my next level of self-confidence from my yoga mat.
My seemingly innocent.
And almost worn out mat which never speaks a word to me.
Surprisingly empowered me in many ways I never imagine it could ever do to me.
Before attending to my first ever yoga class I blurted out all the reasons why I can’t.
Anyone else like me?
I was creative thinking all my excuses.
Until I pause and asked myself “What am I so scared of?”
I was scared of the unknown.
I was scared of doing something I am not good at.
Which will make me feel less of Who I Am.
I have shared about this on my previous blogs. Here are the links:
This quote resonates with me in many stories within my life.
I will keep on reminding this to myself over and over again.
What I learned is we are capable of doing great things.
It’s just a question of:
Are you willing to exert the effort?
Are you willing to show up every day giving your best effort?
Even if today’s best will not be your tomorrow’s best.
Are you willing to dip your toes and feel the water?
Feel the water by splashing it with your own hands.
Learning to swim by flipping your feet one practice at a time?
Enjoy the presence of the water at the moment you are immersed in it.
Are you willing to let go, surrender and do the work until you enjoy your float relaxing on the water?
It will always seem impossible until we try.